Top 10 Songs the #NSA Listens to When They’re Spying on U.S. Citizens

Still reeling from the bombshell news that NSA has been vigorously mining data from the biggest tech firms in the United States — including Apple, Facebook, Microsoft — in order to spy on its citizens?

Well, anyone who has ever caught an episode of “Homeland” knows that spying can be tedious business, most of it’s  handled by computers and algorithms. I have it on good authority that the nation’s top spymasters wile away the time by listening to these songs.

1. Rockwell, “Somebody’s Watching Me”

Recorded in 1984 by Rockwell for his debut single. Rockwell’s real name is Kennedy William Gordy — but he changed his performing name to Rockwell because….wait for it….wait for it…he said he “rocked well.” Indeed. I say, in light of the NSA spying on its own citizens in such a sweeping fashion — I’d say Rockwell is more of a Soothsayer considering the lyrics of this song in light of recent events.

2. The Police, “Every Breath You Take”

“Oh, can’t you see, deodorant is free….?” A classic by The Police brought to life again in the context of recent news… The song goes back to 1983. According to Wikipedia, “The lyrics are the words of a character of dubious nature, who is watching ‘every breath you take; every move you make’.”  Not a song you’d want played at your wedding unless, of course, you’re a diabolical spymaster.

3. The Black Angels, “Telephone”

Here’s one popular with the hipsters currently working in security and intelligence: “You never call my name on the telephone…You watch me sit outside….”

4. Cold War Kids, “Against Privacy”

Sometimes a title just says it all. Shout out to Cold War Kids for this great song from 2008 — and part of the  Top Ten NSA Spymaster Playlist.

5. Styx, “Mr. Roboto”

“I’ve got a secret I’ve been hiding under my skin. My heart is human, my blood is boiling, my brain IBM.” This one must hit a little close to home — but the tunes must keep pumping.

6. Hall & Oates, “Private Eyes”

Can’t say I can normally stomach this grating pop song from 1981 that’s played in supermarkets and doctor’s offices — however, in this case, this song is perfect. “Private eyes, they’re watching you…they see your every move.” Gives you the shivers, doesn’t it? I mean the awful music.

7.  Blondie, “One Way or Another”

One way or another I’m gonna find ya…I’m gonna getcha getcha getcha getcha.” It’s a fine line between between love and hate.

 8. Lionel Richie, “Hello”

“Hello, is it me you’re looking for?” It’s the classic story of love, espionage and voyeurism.

9. Tegan and Sara, “Living Room”

“My windows look into your bathroom
Where I spend the evening watching 
You get yourself clean
And I wonder why it is 
That they left this bathroom so unclean”

The Spymaster handbook clearly states that a clean bathroom is a sign of right living, as reflected in this Tegan and Sara song.

10. Nat “King” Cole, “To the Ends of the Earth”

“No matter how far you are
I’ll never be far behind
Who cares where the path may wind
As long as I find…
YOU”

Yeah, pretty much.

Honorable Mentions:

Beat Happening, “I Spy”

“I wear Spanish boots and Brooks Brothers suits — and I don’t know how to cry.” 

Little Peggy March, “I Will Follow Him”

Def Leppard, “Two Steps Behind”